that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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