just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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