Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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