I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We smell like vodka and hangover
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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