And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Blood and glitter go together right?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
