We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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