Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Randomize
