Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
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So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
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Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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