I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
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So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
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I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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