new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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