she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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