So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
