I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize