I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize