I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
