one two three fourrrrnication!
I think my fart just growled at me.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
