Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
