You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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