i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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