Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
