i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
