I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
sex in a hospital.. check
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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