im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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