I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
