You just made me feel so damn special
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
