Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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