I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Pooping to opera.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
