I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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