sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
