mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your penis caused this!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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