well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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