Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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