Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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