It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My cat gives me a boner
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
