This is not my ceiling
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
