Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
