How'd it feel making her break her religion?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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