Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
