So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
