after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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