end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
