i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
