Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
