And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
