You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize