Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
