walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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