Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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