I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wish there were birth control emojis
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
