R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
