Sponge bath it is.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
