Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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