why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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