My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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