Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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