I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
