can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
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I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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