worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
