garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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